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Top Ten Unanswered Postal Questions
10. Why does the guy who has the most unkempt yard and worst-looking grass insist that you don’t cross his lawn?
9. When exactly did certifieds become a non-accountable item to everyone except us? And do you think we’d actually sell any of them if the public realized that they get no special handling for their $4.00?
8. Why is the only place that the gutters leak is always directly over the mailbox?
7. Exactly what is that stuff they put inside a Twinkie? OK, so this isn’t a postal question, but I’d still like to know!
6. What is DOIS and the new Postal Math? The example I’ve seen yet was in the Branch Items of March’s Postal Record. Scott Hedegard of Branch 3671, Springfield, Ark. wrote: “To demonstrate how inaccurate or downright crooked the figures are, consider this true story. On one morning, a carrier in this branch was told to curtail 4 feet of flat mail. The supervisor told him it was an hour’s worth of curtailed mail. However, the next day, for some reason that can only be understood by management, that same 4 feet of flat mail was only 17 minutes of work. The supervisor no doubt was only reporting to the carrier what the program said. DOIS had magically reduced his workload by 43 minutes that day.”
5. What portion of our pivoting time are we supposed to use to discuss “Customer Connect” with our business patrons?
4. On a mounted route, why is the guy whose mailbox is geographically furthest from the house always the one who gets all the oversized parcels?
3. DPS? It’s like that old algebra problem about the two trains that we all got wrong in high school. You know, if a letter gets mailed from New York bound for Chicago on Monday, and another letter got mailed from Chicago to New York that same afternoon: how do they both end up in a Dallas carrier’s DPS on Wednesday?
2. Why is a couple of minutes of down time in a carrier’s day considered a crisis calling for route inspections and adjustment, while a couple of hours of down time for other crafts and supervisors is a cause for a BBQ on the back dock?
And the number one most unanswered postal
Why is this the only job in the world that management consistently and conscientiously tries to make harder and harder?
Submitted by Denny Belden
Originally written in The Greater Pittsburgh Letter Carrier